Today I was home sick, lounging in bed, and I was several hours deep in the rabbit hole that is Pinterest. I’ve had the idea for some time now about doing a post about ladylike manners and etiquette- something I’m CONSTANTLY working on myself.

I clicked on link after link of titles mentioning things like: grace, charm, manners, charm, handwritten thank you’s, charm, put the smartphone down while in conversation, charm

Every single link mentioned charm as a quality a well-mannered lady should have, be it pre-teen girl or a mature woman in the autumn of her life. You could bet your biscuits on it, every single one of these websites found charm to be an indispensable quality to a lady.

But therein lay the problem:  all of these blogs and articles skimmed over the subject as if it was something very simple and well known- the secrets of “charm”. If it was such a simple quality to master, why isn’t every woman I encounter charming?

What does it take for a lady in 2017 to be deemed charming?

If I discovered anything through this ongoing quest, it’s that charm is basically just a combination of gracious behavior and actions accompanied by a great deal of thinking before you speak. Easier said than done, right?! Simply put: politeness, well-mannered, ladylike, and grace, all go hand in hand with charm. Master one of the four, and you’re on your way to mastering charm.

In essence, the golden rule is the key to charm. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Do you like when others are keenly listening to you speak? Do you appreciate when they put their phone on silent during a meal? Would you want someone to write you a thank you for doing something kind? Or smile while holding the door for you? Then do the same for every single person you encounter! Elementary rules of politeness go a long way and people do indeed take notice!

There are literally so many small things that add up to becoming a charming individual- you would be sitting here reading into the wee hours of the night if I listed them all! A charming person is plain and simple: a thoughtful person. Think of how you should react in a specific situation and then follow through with it.

If that fails to work I’d like to give what I’d call a “foolproof” tip. I once heard years ago, to think of a particular woman you know personally and that is your ideal picture of “charming”. And then think, “what would so-and-so do in this situation?”

Let me wrap up this thought (and this post) with an example. Many moons ago, I was driving along with my husband and a darling acquaintance of ours. I was babbling on and on, as this is a habit I struggle to break every single day of my life. I was talking about a public figure that I didn’t particularly like, and then I drew breath for all of two seconds to get her involved and asked, “what do you think of her?” And she responded with, “Hmmm. You know, I don’t particularly have an opinion about her.” In that very moment I felt like THE biggest idiot. I thought to myself, “what is wrong with you, you stupid vapid girl?! She gave the most diplomatic answer possible and you couldn’t have sounded any flightier for the past 10 minutes!” She will always and forever be the most perfect charming person that I strive to be like.

So, in conclusion, all of us will slip up from time to time. None of us will be charming every second of the day. However, if you think, even slightly, about what you’re saying or doing, you’re already ahead in your efforts to acquire charm. And then come teach me! Ha!

Disclaimer: This post in my own personal opinion and I was not compensated by any companies that may or may not be mentioned.